I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
