in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
