Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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