I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
