Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize