Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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