hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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