I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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