when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
