she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
