i think my mom watched the whole time
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize