Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
