My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize