I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
