It's Friday. Sex?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
