found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
