Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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