GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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