Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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