omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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