My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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