look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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