If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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