we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
