I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
