I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize