I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
