they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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