i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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