there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
