we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
