I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
