i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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