dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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