i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
