How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
