he wants to bone in the snuggie
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
