So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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