that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
