dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
