Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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