I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
