If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
