I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize