I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
