what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
