seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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