ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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