I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
