hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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