Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
