How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
