You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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