Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
