I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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