i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
