yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
