We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
