i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
