I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
