if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
