Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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