1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
