so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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