So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Drake has all the answers
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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