You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
