im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
