D3 body, D1 cock
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Jerry, you need to find god
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you win again, gameday.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
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